[ Howl stays silent in the wake of her question. Even with their drinks arriving and a warm body against him, his troubles keep coming up, weighing on him heavier every time. Oh, why can't he just do something fun for tonight? This would be so much easier if Calcifer were here. He could mutter a few words to the demon, acknowledging the problem, and feel ready to move on.
After a sigh, he sips from his drink. Well, maybe he can try with Iramaat. ]
...I don't like how it happened. How I perished, and left, and ended up back here. [ he frowns, almost pouting. ] I hurt you, but I made a fool of myself, too.
[ Howl is asking himself the same questions. How much should he tell Iramaat about how he died? He hasn't told her explicitly yet, but she must know that's what happened, considering how their bond was severed. And she witnessed him casting that transformation spell on himself - or, rather, attempting to cast it and doing a terrible job. It's so humiliating that he feels relieved when she brings up her own situation. ]
How do you mean? [ he tears his eyes away from the window and glances at her. ] Were you sent back for a short time once before?
Not like that. I... well. About a year ago some unsavory elements in Aefenglom society decided they were going to teach some mirrorbound and monsters a lesson and kidnapped a bunch of us. And mostly they just... tortured us for their own amusement.
[ Howl's expression stiffens and darkens, and for a moment he says nothing, his brain simply processing this information. It goes without saying that it's shocking and horrible. ]
That's no consolation at all. What happened? Were you rescued?
[ Iramaat sighs. She doesn't like talking about this for some reason. It brings up unpleasant memories, of being chained to a wall while they tightened the screws on the cuff on her ankle until something gave. She remembers what they did to Trevor. She remembers a lot of things she'd rather not and she seems to shrink a little into herself.
When had she become so vulnerable? This had never happened to her before. ]
...yes. Eventually. And all of them are dead now. So it's all in the past.
[ There's nothing about her torturers' demise that comforts him either. In an abstract sense, Howl understands that they likely deserved it, but it paints the incident as a wholly miserable one.
Howl reaches across her body with his other arm and pulls her against his chest. He doesn't know if this will help, but he wants her to stop that awful shrill fake laugh. ]
...You're right, it's in the past for us both. Tonight is for us.
[ She's keeping her antlers neatly manicured these days - a little shorter so they don't bash people in the face - and so she turns and buries her head against his chest as he pulls her in. It's stupid and ridiculous, but she takes comfort from the physicality of it. But she's never needed comfort before she came here.
Not really. ]
Yes. Yes it is.
[ Her voice is muffled by his shirt. ]
Just - let me sit like this for a moment. You're warm.
[ Definitely not because she's trying to squeeze back tears. Definitely not because those memories are awful. Nope. She's fine and she'll always be fine. ]
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[ Although he's looking out the window, he's very much enjoying the weight and warmth of his companion against his side. ]
It's time I establish myself here. I did it in my own world, and I'll do it again.
[ He sounds determined - maybe too determined for there not to be more going on behind those words. ]
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[ She doesn't want to bother him, really. Not when they're trying to have a lovely time and their drinks are starting to arrive. ]
Anything in particular?
[ She still asks, even as she leans her head on his shoulder. ]
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After a sigh, he sips from his drink. Well, maybe he can try with Iramaat. ]
...I don't like how it happened. How I perished, and left, and ended up back here. [ he frowns, almost pouting. ] I hurt you, but I made a fool of myself, too.
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...I understand.
[ She interlaces his fingers with his and squeezes. ]
I don't like any of it, either. But you can't really be blamed for this damnable place not sending you back properly, can you?
[ She hesitates. How much of herself does she bare? How much does she keep back? ]
If it's any consolation... I've sort of been in the same situation before.
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How do you mean? [ he tears his eyes away from the window and glances at her. ] Were you sent back for a short time once before?
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[ She shakes her head with a slight grimace. ]
Not like that. I... well. About a year ago some unsavory elements in Aefenglom society decided they were going to teach some mirrorbound and monsters a lesson and kidnapped a bunch of us. And mostly they just... tortured us for their own amusement.
[ Her expression twists. ]
They broke my legs. Among other things.
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That's no consolation at all. What happened? Were you rescued?
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When had she become so vulnerable? This had never happened to her before. ]
...yes. Eventually. And all of them are dead now. So it's all in the past.
[ She tries to laugh, but it sounds shrill. ]
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Howl reaches across her body with his other arm and pulls her against his chest. He doesn't know if this will help, but he wants her to stop that awful shrill fake laugh. ]
...You're right, it's in the past for us both. Tonight is for us.
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Not really. ]
Yes. Yes it is.
[ Her voice is muffled by his shirt. ]
Just - let me sit like this for a moment. You're warm.
[ Definitely not because she's trying to squeeze back tears. Definitely not because those memories are awful. Nope. She's fine and she'll always be fine. ]