wylderrant | [Aefenglom] IC Inbox

[ Be still her beating heart. That little half-circle is enough to make her laugh out loud and she presses right up to him, as if she can't quite believe he's real. ]

I'm - I'm fine. Really. Not hurt or anything, I just-

[ She frowns, pauses, isn't sure she ought to say more. ]

...I didn't want to lose someone else again. It's happened twice now, you know. Three times, counting you.

[ There's a peal of high laughter. ]

Silly, isn't it?

[ Howl smiles, but his eyebrows furrow, giving his affection a gentle dash of concern and surprise. This isn't how he expected to find her, and he isn't entirely sure what to make of it. ]

Iramaat, dear - are you being hard on yourself?

[ He steps away from her, his hand sliding down her arm to take her palm in his, and starts guiding her down the sidewalk. ]

It's only natural to feel devastated about losing me. Of all the things to cause a sprout of conscience.

[ Other than the palm pressed tight to hers, Howl offers no other serious reassurance, aside from his gentle teasing. Rather, he appears anxious to get moving. ]

[ Iramaat squeezes his hand tightly and follows, trying not to let her emotions get the better of her. Since when was she ever so weepy over this sort of thing? Since she got stuck here, that's when.

She hates it. ]

Oh, shut up-

[ She gives his shoulder a mock slap. ]

You're terrible. Maybe that's why we get along.

Heartless, more accurately.

[ He leads her along without looking back, his feathery hair bouncing with each heeled step. A part of him is concerned for her, of course - he's horribly curious about how she fared through the battle in Dorchacht, especially after he perished. But that part of him can't stand up to his inner coward or his own self-pity. ]

Do you remember that lounge we went to once, with the red velvet carpets and drapes? Very private? Is it still in business?

Heartless? Literally or metaphorically?

[ She's had encounters with both sorts. But she can't focus too much on that. Instead she squeezes his hand, interlaces their fingers and hurries to catch up, hooves clattering on cobblestones. ]

Oh, yes - they ought to be. I remember the way, too...

[ She motions up the street. ]

Take a right, if I remember.

[ Howl ignores her question. They veer to the right, his light footsteps drowned out by the clopping of her hooves. After another minute, they reach the door of the bar, and Howl swiftly opens the door for her.

The inside of the bar is maudlin and dimly lit. Something about the low light seems to put him at ease after all that rushing to get here. He glances at her, smiling. ]

I don't know about you, but I'm ready for a drink. Where shall we sit?

[ Her grip tightens. She'd only just started getting used to her bond with him, with the flickers of emotions and feelings and sensations (and when he'd died, it had hurt, it had hurt and she'd hated every moment of it). ]

Over there.

[ She tugs him toward an out-of-the-way booth and slides into it, urging him to follow. ]

Nice and comfortable, isn't it?

[ Howl lets her pull him along this time, but his eyes sweep around the lounge as they move. Yes, this place is perfect. It's mostly empty; there are a few intimate corners they can slink into if they can't wait to get back to her mansion later.

When she slides into the booth, he sits on the same side of the table as her, maintaining his cool smile. ]

Very comfortable. Really, why haven't we come back hepre before now? It's rather posh.

I think we were a bit busy, honestly.

[ She replies with a bit of thought, still close, shoulder pressed into his. She's not letting go of his hand for anything, not right now. She'd been ready to sink into another month-long drinking binge when he'd gone and now here he is, whole and hearty.

Pathetic, isn't she? She hates how distressingly needy she's become. She's the one who should be wrapping other people around her finger, not... clinging to others like they're a life raft. But here she is, because everything solid she once thought about herself has gone spinning away and she desperately craves contact. A touchstone that will help her stay oriented. Some sort of relationship to distract herself with.

And partially she's just somewhere between a hopeless romantic and shameless lover. ]

We should go back to the Coven tomorrow.

[ Deep breath in. ]

I can't - it snapped when you... when you left. But before that it hurt.

[ His other hand smooths over her knuckles, cradling hers between both palms. It seems she's stuck on this topic and wants to talk about it. Granted, she's answering part of the question he'd had earlier, but it's just the kind of answer he was fearing. Howl doesn't want to go down this road. He doesn't want responsibility. ]

Iramaat, look at me.

[ He waits until she meets his gaze before leaning in close to kiss her, sighing a slow, warm breath out of his nose before pulling back. ]

...that is the past. This is now. I'm back, we're here now. It's alright.

[ The kiss helps. It honestly does. She leans into, one arm snaking out to wrap around his shoulders and hold him close. They should order something, shouldn't they? But right now there's just him and he's here and everything is going to be better, won't it? It has to be. She's been reprieved from another round of loss. ]

I know. I know. I'm just - I was worried.

[ She murmurs, throat working in a swallow. She kisses him again after another short pause and this one lasts longer. There's something longing in the way she does it, like she's trying to ground herself in the present. She breaks that one, too. ]

But - you'll bond with me again, won't you? I don't want to be back to losing myself every month.

[ Yet another question he isn't that keen on answering, but at least this isn't a hard one. Whatever their relationship can be called, Howl enjoys her company and benefits from their bond, so bonding again is a no-brainer. That last kiss was especially appetizing. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

He pulls her into a third kiss, his teeth grazing her upper lip suggestively as he wets the kiss with his tongue. And then, he pulls away, a subtle grin on his face. ]

It depends. What's in it for me? [ Leaning back, he tilts his head towards the bar. ] ...your tab tonight, for starters?

[ Iramaat can thankfully recognize teasing. She's done it often enough. She sighs and there's a flicker of a mock pout although perhaps she's too near real tears to want to try and fake them. ]

Fine. You're lucky I like you, Howl.

[ She wants to kiss him again. Wants to feel him under her hands, to trace the planes of his body, to lose herself with him so she doesn't have to worry about the future or any problems she might be facing or anything but the heat of another body and the momentary rush that comes with it. ]

And luckier still that I have money.

[ Chuckling, he raises his hand into the air and beckons a waitress. After placing an order for two rounds of drinks - so they won't have to wait for the next round after finishing the first, you see - he settles back into the chair with a sigh. By now, his other arm is loosely draped around Iramaat's shoulders. The window beside their table is cracked open, allowing in the cool night air.

He's starting to feel a little more relaxed. Thank the stars. ]

I'm moving house tomorrow. [ ought to mention that, for small talk if nothing else. ] I arranged for it earlier today, once I'd realized how long I was gone.

[ Drinks. Yes. Good. She needs one - preferably a stiff one. She stays half-draped against him, content to bask in his presence for a bit and to reassure herself that she's not going to be alone all over again. Like him, she is feeling much more relaxed. ]

Oh? The old quarters reminding you too much of something? Or just wanting a change?

A change.

[ Although he's looking out the window, he's very much enjoying the weight and warmth of his companion against his side. ]

It's time I establish myself here. I did it in my own world, and I'll do it again.

[ He sounds determined - maybe too determined for there not to be more going on behind those words. ]

This is a bit new. What brings this on...?

[ She doesn't want to bother him, really. Not when they're trying to have a lovely time and their drinks are starting to arrive. ]

Anything in particular?

[ She still asks, even as she leans her head on his shoulder. ]

[ Howl stays silent in the wake of her question. Even with their drinks arriving and a warm body against him, his troubles keep coming up, weighing on him heavier every time. Oh, why can't he just do something fun for tonight? This would be so much easier if Calcifer were here. He could mutter a few words to the demon, acknowledging the problem, and feel ready to move on.

After a sigh, he sips from his drink. Well, maybe he can try with Iramaat. ]

...I don't like how it happened. How I perished, and left, and ended up back here. [ he frowns, almost pouting. ] I hurt you, but I made a fool of myself, too.

[ Iramaat takes her drink and downs a swig of it, not particularly caring that she might be overdoing it a bit. ]

...I understand.

[ She interlaces his fingers with his and squeezes. ]

I don't like any of it, either. But you can't really be blamed for this damnable place not sending you back properly, can you?

[ She hesitates. How much of herself does she bare? How much does she keep back? ]

If it's any consolation... I've sort of been in the same situation before.

[ Howl is asking himself the same questions. How much should he tell Iramaat about how he died? He hasn't told her explicitly yet, but she must know that's what happened, considering how their bond was severed. And she witnessed him casting that transformation spell on himself - or, rather, attempting to cast it and doing a terrible job. It's so humiliating that he feels relieved when she brings up her own situation. ]

How do you mean? [ he tears his eyes away from the window and glances at her. ] Were you sent back for a short time once before?

Mmm.

[ She shakes her head with a slight grimace. ]

Not like that. I... well. About a year ago some unsavory elements in Aefenglom society decided they were going to teach some mirrorbound and monsters a lesson and kidnapped a bunch of us. And mostly they just... tortured us for their own amusement.

[ Her expression twists. ]

They broke my legs. Among other things.

[ Howl's expression stiffens and darkens, and for a moment he says nothing, his brain simply processing this information. It goes without saying that it's shocking and horrible. ]

That's no consolation at all. What happened? Were you rescued?

[ Iramaat sighs. She doesn't like talking about this for some reason. It brings up unpleasant memories, of being chained to a wall while they tightened the screws on the cuff on her ankle until something gave. She remembers what they did to Trevor. She remembers a lot of things she'd rather not and she seems to shrink a little into herself.

When had she become so vulnerable? This had never happened to her before. ]

...yes. Eventually. And all of them are dead now. So it's all in the past.

[ She tries to laugh, but it sounds shrill. ]

[ There's nothing about her torturers' demise that comforts him either. In an abstract sense, Howl understands that they likely deserved it, but it paints the incident as a wholly miserable one.

Howl reaches across her body with his other arm and pulls her against his chest. He doesn't know if this will help, but he wants her to stop that awful shrill fake laugh. ]

...You're right, it's in the past for us both. Tonight is for us.

[ She's keeping her antlers neatly manicured these days - a little shorter so they don't bash people in the face - and so she turns and buries her head against his chest as he pulls her in. It's stupid and ridiculous, but she takes comfort from the physicality of it. But she's never needed comfort before she came here.

Not really. ]

Yes. Yes it is.

[ Her voice is muffled by his shirt. ]

Just - let me sit like this for a moment. You're warm.

[ Definitely not because she's trying to squeeze back tears. Definitely not because those memories are awful. Nope. She's fine and she'll always be fine. ]

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